Social-Emotional

Attitude Towards Learning

Did you know the extent to which your (parent/guardian) attitude towards learning or school greatly influences your child?

Very often, we see children disliking a subject, doing homework, or school in general. The odd thing is there is usually no reason for such intense dislike in the elementary years.

Subjects are taught in a way that applies to all modalities of learning, there is a lot of socializing, etc. Yet, there are quite a few times we see intense dislike towards a subject or just school in general.

Here are some examples of statements made by students.

“My parents don’t think it is important for me to pass with a high score, as I will be joining my dad’s party business. He makes a lot of money, you know.”

“Both my mom and I hate Math. She is not good at it and finds it boring.”

“My uncle says I don’t have to bother about school as I am good at soccer. I can be a great soccer player. I don’t need school for that.”

“Even my parents hate homework.”

Now the irony is that these students are really quite bright and capable of doing great work. However, with the statements mentioned above, one can imagine the conversation at home and how it impacts the child.

At conference time, I sometimes hear sentences such as these:

“I know how you hate homework, buddy. I hated it too.”

“I never liked Math as a kid. I still don’t.”

“You know kids. He just plays his games all evening. I can totally understand that. I wish I could do that. That is why he sleeps late and finds it hard to get up.”

Children are keen observers and listeners. They know when to use what they hear to get their point across. They might be feeling justified about their attitude towards their learning. After all, their parents felt the same way too. This is without even trying and judging things for themselves. Sometimes, it sounds like the child takes pleasure in how similar they are to their parents in their attitude towards learning.
As a teacher, I often worry that a disservice is done to the child when another’s opinion is internalized. Very often, the sentences are just a mirror copy of the parent or someone they look up to. They have given up on something, or dislike something without even giving themselves a chance to see if their stand really holds any truth.

Parents, as an adult you have a right to form an opinion. You have years of experience to base it upon. However, when it comes to your child, I would urge you to refrain from making negative comments towards learning or school. Your child looks up to you. They will take your stand at face value and internalizes it. This will deter them from taking a chance, and judging for themselves how they feel towards learning and school.

**Young children are greatly influenced by the parents attitude towards school.**

😌 Calming Down

I have all these feelings within me,

That I do not know how to explain,

The only way you might understand,

Is if I rant or rave.

Children very often go through emotions of anger and frustration that could result in tantrums and anger outbursts. Usually, the first instinct would be to correct the child as to why this behavior is not acceptable. There might be consequences such as no TV time, which adds fuel to the fire as the child is already very angry or frustrated.

Stress and anxiety are other emotions that young ones face. They might not be willing to listen to the logic of an adult. Talking to the child might be useless until the child has calmed down enough to listen.

Although there are quite a few techniques that teach a child how to quieten their mind, I am going to mention two simple methods which are quite effective. These techniques should be done in a quiet environment.

Fill in a Shape Method: All you need to do is to draw a rectangle on a piece of paper. Ask the child to fill the rectangle with long, even, very slow strokes. The idea is to go in one direction, make the strokes long, and in slow motion. The pencil moves up and down very slowly. When the child is doing this, they look at the motion of the strokes, and gradually calm down. After they have calmed down, you can address the issue. This also works well for children transitioning from outdoor to indoor activity.

Meditation: Just as adults, children too benefit from meditation. Regular meditation has been shown to reduce reactions such as anger, anxiety, and stress. However, a child might not be able to meditate for long. Choose a piece of meditation music from the youtube site, which is only five to seven minutes long. The music should be slow, soft and soothing. Guide the child to focus on the breathing, or just close their eyes and listen. If they are not in a mood to do so, they can just listen. Gradually, the calmness and soothing music will help them relax. Address the issue only when they are ready to listen.

Both these simple, inexpensive, effective techniques help children to be more in control of their emotions.

So, basically, instead of reacting to a situation, you are letting the child calm down before handling the issue. In the beginning, you might see that the child is not receptive to the idea of calming down. However, when you show that you do not want to talk about the matter until the child is ready to listen, the child too will soon see the benefit of calming down. It is easy to say that you will talk to them only after they have calmed down, but you also need to give them some tools on how to do so.